Kids, not what your expecting

When you were having kids, as you added each one to the family, did you ever get, not overwhelmed, but baffled by the love you feel growing in your heart and soul? It seems you are brimming to the top, and that your going to overflow at any second? It is a wonderful, but weird feeling.

I almost want to say it is like you love your first, but then you really love your second, and somehow impossibly you love your third even more. Not that you love that third child more, but it seems like you FEEL it, somewhere you didn't feel it before? Maybe it is because he is a baby right now, and likes to cuddle. But so does Judge. Or that they have been sick, and he still isn't feeling the best.

I don't know, but I seem to be feeling this a lot lately. It just makes me wonder what is in store for me here in the next few years. I am nervous about the ones we have. Are we raising them right? I think so. I am excited about the possibility of more, cause I can feel that they are there. But will we have them here on earth? Or will I be waiting for the eternities for them, especially for that little girl I would so like to have?

The latter concerns me the most, and I wish it didn't. I don't like the feeling it gives me when I think about it. You would think with three wonderful spirits, and I say wonderful because I know how special they are because of how the Lord made us wait and struggle with each, that I would be happy and unconcerned about more kids. But this feeling increases with each child. Not so much with Raiden, because we were so relieved to have him safe and sound. But Judge took so long to get here I was beginning to wonder. And then Ender, such a miracle, since we were wondering if there would even be anymore to come to us while here on earth.

I am nervous about more children. I feel like we should be having more, but is that just me? I get so sick and my body doesn't handle it well, but I am anxious for more already. Part of this I know is a phase I go through when my babies start to get independent. But it is a worry all the same.

I do have the boys, and for that I am eternally grateful. Hopefully there will be more to be grateful for.

I love them so much!

Da, Dum...Da, Dum.....Da, Dum...(Jaws)

This is it. Is everyone ready for it?....Are you holding your breath? This is the big week on CSI. What will happen to Jorja Fox? Go out quietly? With a big bang? Who knows with CSI. They brought her on by having a rookie murdered, so turnabout is fair play.

With the writers striking I am awfully glad that the few shows I do watch have some pre-filmed. I guess that way I can go through withdrawals later when I am more prepared. If not, I guess I can always rent the series through the library and watch them again. Not to mention that the last season will be coming out on DVD. I could always start there.

Also...newsflash...Don't forget Project Runway aires this Wednesday!

New Pictures

We did get our newest pictures. They are so cute, so says the mommy. Raiden got his at school. I was impressed at how well they turned out. Ever since he got his glasses it has been quite the accomplishment to get a photo without the glare showing up on his glasses.

Judge was a challenge and a half. Just getting him to smile this time around was like talking someone into cutting off a finger or something. Such a little drama person when he wants to be. But the picture wasn't bad, and I have to admit he is quite the cutie.

Ender was a delight. Just talk to the guy and he smiled all you wanted. The hardest task with him was keeping his hands out of his mouth.

I love having my boys, and it gets better cause they're three cute little boys!!

All around the town

I have been spread everywhere lately. It is run to the school, run to work, run to church, to the store, and a lot to the doctors.

Everyone of us but my husband has been to see some type of doctor this month. Ender got shots, Raiden got stitches, and Judge has a form of asthma. I get the luckiest of all though. The dentist. Two root canals on Monday. Isn't that just something you look forward too?

Breath...

Boy has it been a while. It seems like things all of a sudden get piled on you.

I had my procedure done to remove the skin cancer, but then I had to go to Vegas to see a surgeon to fix what damage was done to remove the cancer. So I have been to Vegas three times. Once for a consultation, then for the surgery, then for a check up to remove the stitches. I have to go back in three months to verify the healing of the tissue.

Other than that what is there... Just run, run, run... Soccer season ended on Wednesday. Thank goodness. It was fun, but with me working it was a lot of work for Kale.

Now I will breath deep, and until holiday stuff gets here I can relax...So I have till Wednesday...

Happy Halloween everyone!

Lesson Learned

Well, as the title indicates I have learned an important lesson. I went in to the dermatologist today to get a Basil Cell skin cancer removed. After a five hour crash course I know not to wait when you have a question about your skin.

Now I am cancer free, but I have a huge chunk of skin missing from my face. Not just my face, on my nose. So, I get what every girl in Vegas dreams of. A chance to go to the plastic surgeons and have it be covered by my health insurance. So now I can say I have had my nose done, without fear... Personally, I would prefer saying I got a boob job, but alas...the nose won.

Time Flies

Boy where does it go? I think about it, and I honestly don't know where.

Ender is a pro at rolling over now. He is sooo cute. You lay him down, and he immediatly rolls onto his belly. No more back for him.... He gets very frustrated though when he rolls over in his sleep. He will wake up squaking pretty loud.
He also got his first taste of rice cereal on Friday. Loved it the first time, hated it the next two times, and now he might like it again.

Judge is going through this torment stage. Everything has to be done...just right...or he blows up big time. Like one night I threw a wrapper away in the wrong garbage can. It took an hour to get him calmed down enough to know what was upsetting him. I hope he grows out of this soon. I am tired of temper tantrums.

Everyone else is just the same. Except I did start my new exercise regime today. I hate excersicing. The only thing I hate more is being overweight. Hopefully my hate of one will eclipse the other and I can loose some pounds....